Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Revelations

Today I am going to do something that I find personally very scary. I am going to tell the whole world{via my blog} that I know I am obese, I'm not happy about it, and I am going to work to change it.
Hmmm! That was liberating.

I've struggled with weight issues pretty much as long as I can remember. Whether it is true or not, I think it really snowballed when I was diagnosed with asthma as a child. I would cough for hours on end, and then I discovered that if I was eating or drinking something I wouldn't cough. And so it began. More eating + Less moving = Trouble
I don't discuss my issues with anyone except for maybe Ryan and sometimes my parents. Primarily because I know I'm overweight, you know I'm overweight and me making offhand comments about how I'm fat isn't going to do anything but make us both uncomfortable.

I can't tell you what specifically light a fire under my behind, but something yesterday just clicked. Last night as I was feeding Morgan at about 10:45, I came to the realization that I could not wake up one more morning to my same old messy house. Toys everywhere, groceries that hadn't been put away, crumby floor, etc, etc. So at shortly after 11pm last night, I got up and cleaned. I cleaned until about 1:30 and got a lot done. During this 2.5 hours of alone time with the mess, I came to the conclusion that I really had not been holding myself accountable for the poor choices I had been making in regard to diet and exercise. Slothfulness comes to mind in regards to several aspects of my life. If I was working in the middle of the night so that I didn't have to wake up to a dirty and depressing house, I was going to "clean house" in a few other ways as well.

Kudos if you are still with me.

Another reason I keep a lot of these issues to myself is because public failure is humiliating. I don't particularly care for humiliation. Now I don't have the option of quietly giving up and going back to my old ways. People will be watching and more likely than not, scrutinizing the choices I make.

Here are a few things I am going to do to help me change for the better:
♦ No Television that I find entertaining while Ryan is at work. (I'm not going to tie my hands on Joshua's favorite shows. Sometimes a Mommy needs a break)
♦ I will keep a food diary detailing what I have eaten during the day.(That's worked marvelously well for me in the past)
♦ I will phase out soda consumption. I still have a few Diet Cherry Cokes around the house that I will probably finish off, but no new soda purchases. No soda at restaurants either.
♦ I will reach for a glass of water everytime my mind thinks it is hungry.
♦ I will do some activity that elevates my heart rate for at least 40 minutes, at least 4 times a week. {We are getting Wii Fit as soon as we can find a copy, so I'm not going to be uber specific on exercise goals at the moment}
♦ I will search to find and subsequently minimize my triggers for emotional eating.
♦ I will pay closer attention to my portion sizes. (Time to bust out my fancy food scale)
♦ I will not succumb to fad dieting(That means you, Dr. Phil!)
♦ I will print out my goals and keep them handy.
♦ I will strive to keep my expectations realistic and find small ways to reward myself for a job well done.
♦ I will not go to bed at night until the sink is empty of dishes and the toys have been put away. (Not directly a fitness goal, but if you feel good about your surroundings, it is much better to feel good about yourself.)
♦ I will not get defensive or shy when you ask how it is going. I will be happy to share my progress, setbacks, or whatever.

I'm sure there are more and I'll add to my list when I think of them.

21 days to make a habit. Here is to day 1!


9 comments:

michael said...

Good for you Ashley! Try yoga!

Bob & Danya said...

You are awesome! I need some of that willpower to do some things myself. I will support you (and walk with you if you want - I need to exercise and stop eating cookies everyday)! Bob told me the other day that you can speed up your metabolism 20% if you drink 16oz. of water right after you get out of bed in the morning. Of course I groaned at him (because 16oz is ALOT), I wonder if it really works though... I may have to try it (just don't tell him that I'm trying any of his suggestions)! LOL!

Bodi Amanda Sophie Laynie said...

Way to go! I am right there with you! I love palaties. It is great for toning and losing inches.

~Missy~ said...

Hey Ashley, it's your old pal Kevin. I thought I would say hello because it's been years since I've seen you. Your family is beautiful by the way. These blogs are pretty cool, and a great way for all of us to stay in touch

Nanna said...

Good For You!! When I read your blog I thought of Tiffany. Have you asked her how she lost weight? I haven't, so I don't know how she did it but maybe she can give you a couple of suggestions??

Ashley said...

Thanks for all the love everybody! I feel very supported.
Danya-I'd love to walk together, we'll have to set something up.

willyerd said...

That's awesome!! I'd love to work out with you too when you're ready and have those goals ready. I lost 50lbs after I had Colton, so if you want or need any other suggestions let me know =) You can do it!

Our Blog said...

Ashley - wow! You're the bravest person I know!!!
(and lots of other positive -ests for that matter, ie. thoughtfullest, smartest, kindest....)

Let me know how I can help!!

Alison said...

Good for you Ashley!
I'm glad you found my blog. I'm looking forward to checking your blog for updates on your cute kids and your weight loss.

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