Today I am going to do something that I find personally very scary. I am going to tell the whole world{via my blog} that I know I am obese, I'm not happy about it, and I am going to work to change it.
Hmmm! That was liberating.
I've struggled with weight issues pretty much as long as I can remember. Whether it is true or not, I think it really snowballed when I was diagnosed with asthma as a child. I would cough for hours on end, and then I discovered that if I was eating or drinking something I wouldn't cough. And so it began. More eating + Less moving = Trouble
I don't discuss my issues with anyone except for maybe Ryan and sometimes my parents. Primarily because I know I'm overweight, you know I'm overweight and me making offhand comments about how I'm fat isn't going to do anything but make us both uncomfortable.
I can't tell you what specifically light a fire under my behind, but something yesterday just clicked. Last night as I was feeding Morgan at about 10:45, I came to the realization that I could not wake up one more morning to my same old messy house. Toys everywhere, groceries that hadn't been put away, crumby floor, etc, etc. So at shortly after 11pm last night, I got up and cleaned. I cleaned until about 1:30 and got a lot done. During this 2.5 hours of alone time with the mess, I came to the conclusion that I really had not been holding myself accountable for the poor choices I had been making in regard to diet and exercise. Slothfulness comes to mind in regards to several aspects of my life. If I was working in the middle of the night so that I didn't have to wake up to a dirty and depressing house, I was going to "clean house" in a few other ways as well.
Kudos if you are still with me.
Another reason I keep a lot of these issues to myself is because public failure is humiliating. I don't particularly care for humiliation. Now I don't have the option of quietly giving up and going back to my old ways. People will be watching and more likely than not, scrutinizing the choices I make.
Here are a few things I am going to do to help me change for the better:
♦ No Television that I find entertaining while Ryan is at work. (I'm not going to tie my hands on Joshua's favorite shows. Sometimes a Mommy needs a break)
♦ I will keep a food diary detailing what I have eaten during the day.(That's worked marvelously well for me in the past)
♦ I will phase out soda consumption. I still have a few Diet Cherry Cokes around the house that I will probably finish off, but no new soda purchases. No soda at restaurants either.
♦ I will reach for a glass of water everytime my mind thinks it is hungry.
♦ I will do some activity that elevates my heart rate for at least 40 minutes, at least 4 times a week. {We are getting Wii Fit as soon as we can find a copy, so I'm not going to be uber specific on exercise goals at the moment}
♦ I will search to find and subsequently minimize my triggers for emotional eating.
♦ I will pay closer attention to my portion sizes. (Time to bust out my fancy food scale)
♦ I will not succumb to fad dieting(That means you, Dr. Phil!)
♦ I will print out my goals and keep them handy.
♦ I will strive to keep my expectations realistic and find small ways to reward myself for a job well done.
♦ I will not go to bed at night until the sink is empty of dishes and the toys have been put away. (Not directly a fitness goal, but if you feel good about your surroundings, it is much better to feel good about yourself.)
♦ I will not get defensive or shy when you ask how it is going. I will be happy to share my progress, setbacks, or whatever.
I'm sure there are more and I'll add to my list when I think of them.
21 days to make a habit. Here is to day 1!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Hot car
Talk about a day of many posts!
This story is primarily for Monica, because she said something about Pratt that made me think of this story but I never got around to telling it. I'm going to save us both some phone bill $$ and share here. Just goes to show that even with the second kid I still have a few paranoid tendencies left.
Last Friday on our way back from the pool party, Morgan was just absolutely exhausted. Crying her head off and just so tired. When I put her in the car it was pretty hot and this did nothing to improve her mood. Well as soon as the car started moving she instantly stopped crying and was seemingly asleep. I reached my hand back to her after a minute and she had that whole dead arm thing where you can pick their arm up and drop it and they don't notice. I was able to rouse her a little bit but due to the heat and the speed with which she feel asleep, I was a bit worried. So I pull over and hop out of the car to check on her. I start messing with her enough so that she peaks her eyes at me and then she's right back asleep. We get back on our way and shortly after we get on the highway, I have that nagging doubt in my head again. So I reach back to her and pinched at her until I was able to rouse her a bit. Poor thing was so exhausted that all this hassling didn't phase her in the slightest.
This story is primarily for Monica, because she said something about Pratt that made me think of this story but I never got around to telling it. I'm going to save us both some phone bill $$ and share here. Just goes to show that even with the second kid I still have a few paranoid tendencies left.
Last Friday on our way back from the pool party, Morgan was just absolutely exhausted. Crying her head off and just so tired. When I put her in the car it was pretty hot and this did nothing to improve her mood. Well as soon as the car started moving she instantly stopped crying and was seemingly asleep. I reached my hand back to her after a minute and she had that whole dead arm thing where you can pick their arm up and drop it and they don't notice. I was able to rouse her a little bit but due to the heat and the speed with which she feel asleep, I was a bit worried. So I pull over and hop out of the car to check on her. I start messing with her enough so that she peaks her eyes at me and then she's right back asleep. We get back on our way and shortly after we get on the highway, I have that nagging doubt in my head again. So I reach back to her and pinched at her until I was able to rouse her a bit. Poor thing was so exhausted that all this hassling didn't phase her in the slightest.
Everybody Blogs!
I've come to the realization that everybody blogs. It is insane. I will be adding a link section for people I grew up with. In my parents ward there was a group of about 7 of us that grew up in the same primary/sunday school class since we were very small. There were also people either the year older or younger than us that we were friends with too. Most of them keep in touch better with each other than I do, but turns out most everyone has a blog.
Tina Huber (blog forthcoming)
Jeff Mousser
Kevin Johnston
Nicole {Ganem} Schneider (Has a blog, but it is private. If anyone knows her contact info, I'd love to get in touch with her to say Hi)
Amanda {Romney} Anderson
Alison Johnston
Amanda {Painter} Westover
I would not be surprised if there were even more that I just haven't found yet. We are all growed up. A little sad but very exciting all at the same time.
Tina Huber (blog forthcoming)
Jeff Mousser
Kevin Johnston
Nicole {Ganem} Schneider (Has a blog, but it is private. If anyone knows her contact info, I'd love to get in touch with her to say Hi)
Amanda {Romney} Anderson
Alison Johnston
Amanda {Painter} Westover
I would not be surprised if there were even more that I just haven't found yet. We are all growed up. A little sad but very exciting all at the same time.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Wading Party
Last Friday we were invited to a swim/splash party by Holly. It was lots of fun. We went last year but this year I took a few pictures. {Click on the link to hear more about last year's trip out there}
I snapped off about 8 pictures in 2 minutes before I dropped my camera in the water. {ominous music} I sort of wish it was completely fried, because I really want a new camera. However it is back in working order after some drying time. Everytime I change batteries or the memory card I have to reset the date. I'm guessing there is some battery inside the camera that usually holds that information. Hopefully I can find it and replace it. I did have the strange urge to take a picture of everything when the camera was out of commission drying. It made me strangely anxious not to have a working camera. I'm pretty sure I'm a big weirdo.
Thanks for the invite Holly! Like I said last year, if I get invited again, I'll be there if at all possible. So fun!
Here are a few of the pictures
1. Here's a good shot of the whole fountain.
2. Morgan and Tiffany. {Tiffany and Capper came too!} We couldn't get Morgan to look anywhere but at the little fountain. She was mesmerized.
3. The boys. Joshua, Josh, and Capper. Another little boy Eric came a little later but my camera was already wet by then.
The only other thing to make note of is that swim diapers don't absorb pool water, which means they also don't absorb pee. Capper had a leak before we got in the pool. Morgan peed on my leg while we were eating lunch. I probably should have changed her into a regular diaper when I decided the water was too cold. Oh well, you live and learn.
I snapped off about 8 pictures in 2 minutes before I dropped my camera in the water. {ominous music} I sort of wish it was completely fried, because I really want a new camera. However it is back in working order after some drying time. Everytime I change batteries or the memory card I have to reset the date. I'm guessing there is some battery inside the camera that usually holds that information. Hopefully I can find it and replace it. I did have the strange urge to take a picture of everything when the camera was out of commission drying. It made me strangely anxious not to have a working camera. I'm pretty sure I'm a big weirdo.
Thanks for the invite Holly! Like I said last year, if I get invited again, I'll be there if at all possible. So fun!
Here are a few of the pictures
1. Here's a good shot of the whole fountain.
2. Morgan and Tiffany. {Tiffany and Capper came too!} We couldn't get Morgan to look anywhere but at the little fountain. She was mesmerized.
3. The boys. Joshua, Josh, and Capper. Another little boy Eric came a little later but my camera was already wet by then.
The only other thing to make note of is that swim diapers don't absorb pool water, which means they also don't absorb pee. Capper had a leak before we got in the pool. Morgan peed on my leg while we were eating lunch. I probably should have changed her into a regular diaper when I decided the water was too cold. Oh well, you live and learn.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)